Friday, February 26, 2021
Just putting this out there again: I know I'm direct and focused. Sometimes that comes off entirely different than my motivation or intention. It frustrates me when bullies get in the way of me doing my best work simply because I'm annoying. Yes, I'm annoying and I don't care if another person doesn't like me. When it affects other people and my ability to do my job, it's a problem. Big sighs lately and looking forward to less frustrating times.
Newt Scamander says that in Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them: The Original Screenplay, J.K. Rowling.I have a lot in common with Newt Scamander. It's not just the fascination with animals, or love of blue paired with brown. No, it's that people find me annoying. Not everyone, but quite a lot. Looking back, I think it's the competitive, take-charge type of person, maybe even women in particular.
I'm a huge defender of justice. If I notice anything that seems lopsided or unjust, I will do whatever I can to restore the balance of the justice scales. Sometimes it looks like competitiveness but it's not. Competition makes me sick, literally nauseated. I avoid it at all costs, unless I see that I can restore balance. I like things to be calm, pleasant, happy, and, most of all, fair. Bullies and other controlling, bossy type people like to try to upset that and clearly find me irritating, like a bug that needs to be squashed.
Newt is confident in his passions and allows that passion to drive him into doing what he firmly believes is right. I haven't always been very good at that but it's much better lately. I can think less of what other's perception of me and more of the goal I'm working towards.
Still, I can be annoying. So what?